The Essence of Life ♥

Hate how I’m the kind of person who just wants to express my feelings for people, I’m someone who wants to make someone else feel as happy as I possibly can, because I’ve been through a lot of shit the last couple of years and I know exactly what it feels like to get hurt and have your head fucked around with. It hurts a lot and nobody should have to suffer that pain.
I’ll take a chance very rarely, so it’s very special when I take an interest because it shows that I want to do everything I can to make someone happy and make them feel special. I guess that is never appreciated or truly understood though, and it leaves me wondering what is wrong with me and ends up fucking my head up even more.

Feel like shit. I try so hard to get my point across but because of how battered my self confidence has been recently I’m unable to be how I was able to be before. I want to make you so happy, I want to share myself with you, I want to take you out for nice meals, cuddle up with you at the cinema and at mine, I just wanna show you how much I care. It feels like I never get that chance in life, and it destroys me to be honest. I have so much love to give, yet the people I want to give it to don’t seem to be interested. It really hurts. I have to go and see doctors and shit the next couple of weeks over everything that has happened to me, and it feels like so much shit is caused by other people spreading rumours and shit and ruining stuff for me. 
At the end of the day I can safely say I’m actually a really nice person, and I’m capable of making someone feel loved if I want to. I’d never cheat on anyone or anything, I’d always make sure they felt special, because in my eyes they would be. I never get the chance to show all this though, and it proper destroys me. I am damaged and broken because of other people, but I’ll still put myself out there for that special someone. My spirit won’t be broken, because I’ll always drag it through my life and help it regain it’s ground. Right now I’ve been to hospital and that with so much depression and tears over the last 4 hours but my spirit remains strong. I will not give up.   

sailingthestars:

must be:

• good at cuddling
• willing to hear me rant about shit
• happy to sit there just holding me
• able to stick my music or the films i wanna watch
• a lovely person

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